Two Secret Service officers injured at White House

Can you say “Barney Fife” ?

Two Secret Service officers were injured on Tuesday after a gun held by another Secret Service officer accidentally fired inside the White House gate, according to a spokesman, Darrin Blackford.

Their injuries are non-life threatening, the spokesman said.

One officer suffered a shrapnel wound to the face, and the other was wounded in the leg.

They were taken to George Washington Hospital.

At the time, President George W. Bush was on a trip to Blacksburg, Virginia, to attend a ceremony at Virginia Tech university following Monday’s shooting rampage.

“It appears that at approximately 2:10 p.m. (1810 GMT) there was an accidental discharge of a service issued weapon, which occurred inside the Southwest Gate at a security post near the White House,” Blackford said. (seems he missed the ” pull the trigger and gun goes BOOM” class….)

VP Dick Cheney was not in the immediate area but will be giving “hunter safety” classes at the Secret Service Training Center later this week….

Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House, Lafayette Park across the street from the White House and other nearby walkways were all shut down to pedestrian traffic due to the incident. Many police vehicles were in the area.

Tax Day 2007

Hulk Hogan Divorce coming….

Hidden from the VH 1 cameras, but the principles have already met with their legal advisors, they are keeping it together for the TV show , not the kids….

Look for Hogan to pay his legal bills with an run-in at WWE’s SUMMERSLAM 2007….

Marilyn Manson is an idiot.

Dita Von Strip Teese

The shock rocker’s ex-wife, Dita Von Teese, performed a mouthwatering striptease at Crazy Horse Paris at the MGM Grand last night in Las Vegas, hosing herself down on stage while wearing little more than a thong and pasties. Hot!

Manson recently told Le Parisien newspaper that the two split because Dita wanted him to “become more adult, more responsible,” something he must have refused to do. Perhaps as a MAC spokesmodel, she wanted to be the one to wear the makeup in the family.

If this is her act — imagine what the private performances are like! Probably something worth growing up for!

Gone With The Wind,’ ‘Magnificent Seven’ Stuntman Jack Williams Dead At 85

Jack Williams, a revered Hollywood stuntman who appeared in Gone With The Wind and countless western classics, has died in California. He was 85. Acclaimed as the best horse stuntman in Hollywood, Williams was famous for perfecting the horse fall for battle and fight sequences.

During his heyday in the 1940s and 1950s, he worked exclusively with his own trained horse, Coco. He made his mark in 1936’s The Charge of The Light Brigade and went on to pull stunts in films like Fort Apache, Rio Grande, The Magnificent Seven and The Alamo.

He died from heart failure in a Sylmar hospital last week. A memorial service is planned for tomorrow in Newhall, California.

The Everything Cartooning Book

Interested in turning those random notebook doodles into a real hobby? Or, do you dream of drawing cartoons for a living, but aren’t sure if you have enough commercial sensibility? No matter what your background, The Everything Cartooning Book is the all-in-one reference to unlock your hidden potential and set you on the fast track toward a rewarding career in cartooning.

Professional cartoonist Brad J. Guigar shows you everything from how to create believable characters and effective story lines to writing humor and getting published. This step-by-step guide shows you all the insider techniques and tricks you need to make it in this fun and creative field.

Features tips on how to:

Show movement

Create cartoons for different genres

Develop your individual style

Craft story lines

Sell your work

Whether you like to draw Manga, create humorous animal characters, or satirize the world around you, The Everything Cartooning Book teaches you all you need to know to successfully follow your artistic dreams.

Get your copy HERE.

In addition:

Brad Guigar can also be found doing a weekly single-panel comic about sex, love, and relationships called Courting Disaster (www.courting-disaster.com) and a weekly full-page comic about daily life in Philadelphia called Phables (www.phables.com)

Elvis changes his "tune" on SNL

Brazil Nuts: For that Healthy Glow

Not only is the tasty and delicious Brazil Nut one of the most nutritious nuts around, it also happens to be the world’s most radioactive food – at least until Uranium Crisps hit the shelves.

A result of the extensive root system of this largest of Amazon Rainforest trees, the Bertholletia excelsa collects and concentrates an unusually high amount of radium from the soil – much of this being stored, as many toxins are, in the fatty meat of the nut. It has been estimated that the Brazil nuts contains up to 1,000 times more radium than the next highest radioactive food.

So high is the level of radiation found in the nut, it has been shown to register “33 percent hotter than the natural radiation level of [a] room.” (Steven Levingston, Very Hot Commodities, 2003) on a standard Geiger counter. Special mention should be made that the opinion of the Historical Instrument Collection (Oak Ridge, TN) differs insofar as they claim that though “radioactivity is not high enough to be detectable with a simple survey instrument, a one to five minute count on the powdered meat of the nut with a pancake GM or ZnS detector connected to a scaler will indicate that the beta and alpha activities are significantly above background.” I will be testing it myself early next week when my new CD V-715 Geiger Counter arrives.

Though the radioactivity of the nut is the highest found in any food, and though there have been virtually no studies of the impact of Brazil nut radiation on the human body, most authorities agree that there is little to no risk of ill-effect from eating the nuts, even in quantity. Despite the prestige of occupying the top radioactive spot, the amount stored and radiated is nevertheless miniscule and simply does not compare to the level of radiation found elsewhere in our daily lives.

In fact, many would be surprised to discover just how radioactive our world is. It’s common knowledge that many early 20th century consumer products made use of radioactive materials. Most notable among them are the luminous paints – Undark and others – that were once used to paint the hands and faces of watches and clocks during the late teens and early 20’s.

Created by the US Radium Corporation – which had a lucrative defense contract at the time – the radioluminescent paints used in their New Jersey factory were responsible for the deaths of many of the female employees. Unaware of the dangers, the female employees contracted to paint watches were encouraged by the corporation to keep the tip of their brushes well pointed by wetting and shaping with their tongue and lips. Many of these girls would also paint their teeth or nails with the radium paint for the novelty of having glowing parts. The corporation was sued by a group of five female employees who, along with the other employees exposed, became known as the Radium Girls. More recently, the US Radium site in Orange, New Jersey has been classified as a Superfund site.

But what many don’t know is that even modern consumer products are often laced with radioactive material. These include smoke detectors, spark plugs, certain 3M tape dispensers, cat litter, low-sodium salt and my favorite – glossy magazines. Certain clays used in glossy magazines – to create a smooth surface on the paper – are radioactive and a truckload of glossy periodicals can trip a radiation detector.

Need we worry? Probably not, and this article isn’t intended to frighten – though it may have unintentionally done so. But it does go to show that, though we may feel safe and completely removed from danger, the very act of living in a modern society brings with it untold dangers, often of the invisible variety. These consumer products may be nothing to worry about, but if you didn’t know about them before let it be a reminder that it’s always better to be informed. A well-rounded education and critical mind will forever remain our most powerful tools and defense.

There is one thing that has become clear from all of this though: the world is more interesting with a Geiger counter.

7 Tips To Easily Have A Successful Threesome

Note: I’ve covered the dynamics of a successful threesome and how to avoid imbalances, so it is wise to know these basics before proceeding further.

Men aren’t the only ones that find women attractive. Women often base their own worth around how attractive they are in comparisons to their peers. Much of their time is spent focusing on how beautiful a woman is. The same way men compete over who drives the nicer car or who makes the most money. As a result, insecurities abound. This is why, with the proper encouragement and attitudes (non-judgmental), women can even enjoy ‘man things’ like strip clubs and porn.

The tips below don’t take unfair advantage of these realities, but instead, help allow them to naturally collide. Follow the tips below and nobody should feel shorted by the experience.

How Do You Find Women For Your Threesome?

There are a couple different ways to meet women for your threesome. Some are more effective than others. Some take out the spontaneity, an important element, making it seem more robotical and mechanical in nature than you’d perhaps fantasized. Some can awkwardly affect a relationship and cause further trouble down the road.

• You and your woman look for another woman for your threesome

  This can be done by hitting bars with your girlfriend or by directly looking for online matchmaking services (craigslist, MySpace, etc.) to find the woman. There are also parties, swingers clubs, and other means to do this.
  Caveat: When planning starts going into something like this, it often creates too much thought and worry. Additionally, knowing another woman too much outside of this may case complications in the future.

• A woman you know suggests a threesome with someone either of you knows

  Your girlfriend has a friend you both think is attractive. Or perhaps you have a friend she is attracted to or comfortable with.
  Caveat: While definitely a male fantasy, this also poses future problems and could also ruin a good friendship that has no place in the threesome.

• You bring two women together for a threesome

  Two women who you know independently of each other. You’ve had sex with both and after comfort has been established and the tone of the non-monogamous relationship is set, you set the stage for all of you to meet and share.
  Caveat: While the dynamics seem daunting, this is probably the best option of the three until you have some experience in threesome psychology. Nobody loses anything if someone feels uncomfortable later or regrets the event. There are no ties to cut here.

How To Get A Woman To Join You In A Threesome

Because emotional ties to one of the women in your bed may lead to further complications, we’re going to focus on the last of the above three here.

1. Develop the first sexual relationship

Develop a sexual relationship with one woman. Ensure that monogamy and commitment haven’t yet entered your vocabularies. Discover if she’s curious about other woman. Don’t be cute or side-step the point – be direct and ask “Are you into women?”. This is best done after you’ve slept together once or twice. Make sure not to ask immediately after you’ve been with her though, lest she fear that your motives are untrue.

2. Develop the next relationship

Repeat the process again with another woman. Again, find if she’s bisexual or interested in other women. It is important that both are on the same “level” regarding looks. Don’t get a 9 and a 6 together unless everyone really seems into it.

3. Share Another Woman With You

Tell one of the woman that you want to share another woman with her. Tell the other the same thing. Be careful here to use the words “with you” and not “share you” – she must feel valued to feel comfortable.

4. Loose Lips Sink Ships

Keep your lips tight and avoid getting into details about the other girl. This means no pictures or chatting about the other woman. Instruct the woman to trust you. When the sexual tone kicks in, the moment will help carry away any pickiness the women have. If you allow their logical brains to think about the situation, a ‘not so cute nose’ or things like hair color could be your downfall. Women are very picky.

5. Invitations

Invite each woman to meet up at the same time. Do this separately. They should both know what is coming and should have given you the unsaid ‘ok’ at this point. You can do this at a bar or at your house. At any rate, for the first time.. a little alcohol can go a long way in smoothing out any fears.

6. Relax

DO NOT talk about what is going to happen. Relax, enjoy each other’s company, and keep things fun and sexy. You should do your best to avoid leaving them alone to chat. You’re there to keep the mood happy and fun.

7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

After a couple drinks and about 30-45 minutes of setting the tone. Kiss one girl. Then kiss the other. Things have to seem even, so go back and forth. If things feel right, try a three-way kiss. If momentum is building up without a problem, begin foreplay and sex with each woman. Remember to alternate effectively and don’t worry if the woman aren’t instantly into it. As the tone and heat builds, they’ll hit their comfort moment and begin to join.

** Alternate Method **
Another way to ease into things is with a massage. After the kissing and touching begins, lay one woman down and have you and the other woman gently massage her. This allows the other woman to feel comfortable touching the other woman and will also raise her acceptance. After a short while, rotate and let the other woman have the benefit of your four hands.

Lastly, after each woman has had their turn becoming acquainted with the other, allow them to massage you. Them being higher than you gives them a sense of power and the fact that they are now sharing something less scary than sex, will allow them to feel connected to each other. When the time feels right, turn over. From there, everyone should be in a position to carry the night to a fun and exciting close.

Warm weather heats up dress-code rebellion

Schools are asking parents — especially at this time of year–to help enforce proper clothing choices for teens.

COLUMBIA, S.C. — Skimpy continues to be trendy for teenage girls. Skimpy continues to be discouraged by school dress codes.

As spring brings warmer weather, the clash is often greater than polka dots and stripes.

Oh wait, that works now, doesn’t it?

As long as it’s skimpy.

But not in school.

“To be fashionably dressed is not necessarily to be appropriately dressed,” said Bert Smith, principal at Batesburg-Leesville Middle School in South Carolina.

“Our buildings have air conditioning. There is no reason to dress in such a manner that would be detrimental to their schoolwork.”

Allowing girls to go to school with skirts that are too short and shirts with straps too thin creates a disruption and distraction, officials say.

“We are in a position where we want to be positive and uplifting to students,” said Jane Crawford, principal at Chapin Middle, also in South Carolina. “How can we do that if we have to cite them for a dress code violation?

“Parents can help us. Use us as an excuse to say ‘no.’ That would put us in a position where we can focus more on teaching and learning.”

Indeed, sometimes the school dress code can be a parental ally, said Betsy Goodale, mother of a daughter at South Carolina’s Irmo High.

“I like using the school dress code as an excuse to not buy some of the clothes that I feel are not appropriate,” Goodale said.

While that’s a great side benefit, dress codes exist “so that students can focus on an educational environment, and not each other,” said Dixon Brooks, principal at Fulmer Middle School, also in the palmetto state.

That’s why schools implore parents — especially this time of year — to help enforce dress codes.

“You’re the parent,” Smith said. “You tell them how to dress. If [you] think it’s probably not appropriate, don’t let them wear it.”

If it’s a close fit, change clothes.

“Please do not send them with the statement, ‘I hope you don’t get caught,’ ” Crawford said. “That sets us up to be the bad guys.”

Many schools say skirts and shorts can’t be shorter than a child’s fingertips if they stand with their hands flat against their sides.

Don’t let your daughters tug and pull down their shorts and skirts, and then lift shoulders to get away with shorts or skirts that are too skimpy.

In fact, have them lift arms, wiggle, squirm, sit and then stand before you measure.

“Put their book bags on their backs,” Brooks said. “That affects it.”

Also, check what’s under jackets or sweat shirts.

Dress codes vary by district, and individual schools and teachers have leeway on how the rules are enforced. At some schools, students are sent home and told to change into appropriate clothing. And at one school, at least, students are given scrubs to put over the clothing in question.

In most cases, parents are notified of their child’s dress code violation.

While many popular trends — such as short denim skirts — encourage skimpy, moms say girls can dress fashionably without violating school dress codes.

“There are plenty of great-looking clothes and styles that don’t break dress code,” said Linda Fulmer, a middle school teacher and mom.

In fact, pretty, feminine dresses are “in” this season. As are knee-length shorts.

“I’m glad to see the plaids and Bermuda shorts back,” said Dolly Patton, whose daughter is in elementary school. “The Bermuda short length is perfect for the dress code.”

Capri pants are stylish as well. Girls can save the short skirts and midriff-baring tops for the weekend.

“It is certainly more difficult when it comes to shopping, since the department stores carry the ’skimpy’ clothes that are in style, but it can be done,” Goodale said.

And if the kids want to argue? Just mention two words:

School uniforms.