THE PUNCHLINE

“The economy is bad … so bad, Paris Hilton had to change her name to Paris Red Roof Inn.”
— Jay Leno

Scarlett Johansson’s Snot Rag Auction

Scarlett Johansson showed up on Leno Wednesday with a bad cold.
With a nasal voice and a throaty voice, Johansson said she thinks her cold, as it’s a celebrity cold, has value. Leno decided to help monetize the germs.
Johansson gave a tissue a honking blow and bagged it for Leno to put on ebay.
“And you got some lipstick. And snot!” sniffed Johansson.
She signed the bag and you can bid on the snot rag HERE
Bids at 9 am topped $2,025.

THE PUNCHLINE

“The economy is looking bad. In Beverly Hills, women are firing their nannies and having to learn the names of their own children. That’s how bad it is.” — Jay Leno

Jay to Stay

NBC will keep Jay Leno five nights a week, but in prime time, competing not with David Letterman, but with shows like “CSI: Miami.”
The network will announce Tuesday that Mr. Leno’s new show will appear at 10 o’clock each weeknight in a format similar to “The Tonight Show,” which he has hosted since 1993.
New York Times report HERE

THE PUNCHLINE

“President Bush and his lovely wife, Laura, have purchased a new home in Dallas, Texas, worth $2 million. People have underestimated this guy. Five months ago he would had to pay $10 million for that house. But thanks to his economic plan he got it at a bargain.” — Jay Leno