THE PUNCHLINE

“Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River”
— From David Letterman’s top 10 ways Rod Blagojevich can improve his image.

Insanevich

SPRINGFIELD, Illinois — The Illinois Senate removed Governor Rod R. Blagojevich from office Thursday, convicting him on an article of impeachment that alleged a pattern of abuse of power.
The vote, 59 to 0, ended nearly two months of political spectacle in which Mr. Blagojevich, a second-term Democrat who rose from the ranks of Chicago ward politics on the strength of his charisma and the connections of his wife’s family, sought to salvage his career and reputation.
The conviction followed a four-day trial, Mr. Blagojevich’s dramatic address of some 45 minutes to the senators Thursday in which he declared his innocence, and then about two hours of deliberation.
After the first vote, the Senate held a second, deciding again by 59 to 0 to bar Mr. Blagojevich from ever holding public office again in Illinois.
New York Times report HERE
t-shirts available HERE

Bizarre Blago Behavior

The lead prosecutor in Illinois’ historic impeachment trial urged the state Senate on Monday to remove Governor Rod Blagojevich from office for crimes against the public while the governor spent the day in New York, lashing out at his accusers on national television.
The solemnity of the political trial within the ornate state Senate chamber contrasted with a TV appearance in which talk-show co-host Joy Behar mussed Blagojevich’s hair and unsuccessfully urged the governor to do a Richard Nixon impression saying, “I am not a crook.”
Chicago Tribune report HERE
more video HERE

Durst’s Top 10 Comedic News Stories of 2008

From the mind of our Pal, Will Durst:
Okay. Just so you know: the Top Ten Comedic News Stories of the Year are as different from the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of the Year as a tarantula infested banana tree is from a small paper bag of locking quarter- inch steel washers painted blue. Other stuff might have had a bigger impact on America and the World, such as an African American guy whose middle name is Hussein winning the Presidency of the United States.
But so far, Mister Agent of Change is about as funny as over the counter ear drops. You can’t mock hope right now. Too much like kicking small whimpering furry things with big eyes. Oh, he’s bound to loosen up after a few weeks getting kicked around on Pennsylvania Avenue, but until then, here are the stories from 08 that were most filled with humorosityness.

10. Proposition 8. Organized religion goes out of its way to guarantee that gays will not be burdened with the right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
9. New York Governor and Emperor’s Club member, Eliot Spitzer. Flies a hooker from New York to DC, because as we all know, there aren’t enough hookers in DC. (535 that I can think of offhand) Gives her 4 grand and puts her up at the Mayflower Hotel. Now, that’s a liberal. A conservative will try to get it for free in an airport men’s room stall. Demonstrating fiscal responsibility.
8. Joe Biden. Has potential to fill gaffe gap being vacated by George Bush. Inserts foot in mouth so often, he should invest in mint- flavored shoelaces.
7. National Political Conventions. James Dobson’s Focus on the Family called for a storm of biblical proportions to disrupt outdoor acceptance speech of Barack Obama on last day of the Democratic Convention. Hurricane Gustav slammed into New Orleans canceling first day of Republican Convention. Proving that either God has a sense of humor or be extremely careful what you ask for.
6. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Gives a bad name to people with bad names. Something about the Springfield Capitol makes it work like a halfway house in reverse. Economy is so bad, Hair Helmet probably offered free shipping with Barack’s Senate seat.
5. The Primaries. 1: Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee raises hand at a New Hampshire Presidential Debate when asked, “who doesn’t believe in evolution?” In May, he explains he is still campaigning because “at this point, its survival of the fittest.”
2: In Philadelphia, Senator Hillary Clinton says “in this race, I am Rocky Balboa.” Obviously forgetting that in first movie, Rocky loses.. To a black guy.
4. President George W. Bush. Lame duck, but a good ducker. International community furious at Muntadhar al Zaidi. Not for trying to hit the President with his size 10s, but because. 1: his aim was bad, and 2: he wasn’t a centipede.
3. Senator John McCain runs worst campaign ever. That includes New Coke, France in 39 and Cloris Leachman on Dancing With the Stars. Doesn’t know how many houses he has. Should do what I do. Every time I get 4 houses, I trade them in for a hotel.
2. The Economy. When everybody in America knows the name of the Secretary of the Treasury, that’s not good. Line of the year courtesy of an anonymous Wall Street broker: “This is worse than a divorce. I’m worth half what I was. and I’m still married.”
1. Governor Sarah Palin. For those destined to go cold turkey on Bush, she is like a dose of methadone. And she’s sticking around. How you going to keep them down in Juneau after they’ve seen Neiman- Marcus?

Political comic, Will Durst, who writes sometimes, expects an even better list in 2009.
official website HERE
CD available HERE

Blagojevich’s Deleted Facebook Account

Psychotically corrupt Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich deleted his Facebook account just after the FBI arrested him for trying to sell Obama’s vacant Senate seat. HERE‘s what he was trying to get rid of.

Painting Blagojevich Nude

Mired in a scandal that could strip him of his pride, his job and the misperception that anyone shares his enthusiasm for his hair, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has now also been stripped of his clothes.
A nude portrait of the governor, by artist Bruce Elliott, is nearly complete and will hang on the wall of Elliott’s wife’s bar, the Old Town Ale House, next to his infamous depiction of a naked Sarah Palin. It is the next installment in what Elliott loosely calls his “nude governor series.”
more HERE

A Sticky Political Situation

President-elect Barack Obama’s incoming chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, was pushing for Obama’s successor just days after the November 4 election, sources told the Chicago Sun-Times.
Emanuel privately urged Governor Blagojevich’s administration to appoint Obama confidante Valerie Jarrett.
Emanuel’s discussions do not indicate he was involved in dealmaking with the governor. However, his deeper involvement creates a sticky political situation for Obama.
Read it HERE

Russia’s Cacamamie News Coverage

…what the hell is she talking about?

Friendly Chat?

In a sequence of events that neatly captures the contradictions of Barack Obama’s rise through Illinois politics, a phone call he made three months ago to urge passage of a state ethics bill indirectly contributed to the downfall of a fellow Democrat he twice supported, Governor Rod R. Blagojevich.
more HERE

Illinois Governor Arrested for Corruption

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich and his chief of staff, John Harris, were arrested by FBI agents on federal corruption charges Tuesday morning.
Chicago Tribune report HERE