SHE IS SAYING SPARKLING WIGGLES…

Fort Eustis drill sergeant faces charges of molesting trainees

HAMPTON — A drill sergeant at Fort Eustis is accused of forcing a male trainee to dress as Superman and submit to sexual acts, according to court documents.

Army Staff Sgt. Edmundo F. Estrada, 35, of Hampton, also faces charges of indecent assault, having an inappropriate relationship with a trainee, and cruelty and maltreatment of subordinates, Fort Eustis spokeswoman Karla Gonzalez said.

Estrada was arraigned in January and is scheduled to appear April 17 in a military court. He remains on active duty but is no longer a drill sergeant, Gonzalez said.

According to a search warrant affidavit filed in Hampton Circuit Court, officials began investigating Estrada in August after a soldier reported Estrada mistreated and sexually assaulted him.

The soldier told Estrada that he felt depressed after being relieved of his training status, and said Estrada suggested “a technique that he had used previously to help soldiers with their self-confidence and alleviate depression,” the affidavit said.

The technique involved role-playing scenes from a pornographic movie, which depicted a Superman character weakened by Kryptonite as the subject of sexual torture.

“Estrada would verbally describe a sexual act of torture, relating to the pornographic movie, and (the victim) was to respond in a sexual manner by moaning,” the affidavit said. The soldier also said he eventually was forced to “dress in a ‘Superman’ or similar outfit” while Estrada performed sexual acts on him.

The soldier reported he felt if he didn’t obey the requests, “Estrada would negatively affect his reclassification efforts.”

Soldiers from Estrada’s previous unit reported Estrada told them to shed their shirts “so he could photograph their bodies in order to document physical development,” the affidavit said. Others described being ordered to “dress up and pose in spandex and then told not to mention it to anyone.”

Ms Clinton gets a Southern Drawl….

The Last Christmas

Read all about it HERE.

Wonderful Comicbook Art

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Television’ sTwilight Zone

Is finding a way for marketers to beat commercial-zapping DVRs and helping networks to cure the distressed state of TV comedy so simple that a caveman could do it?

ABC’s decision last week to greenlight a half-hour pilot program based on Geico’s popular cavemen characters highlights the blurring line between advertising and entertainment, as well as the trouble the network has had in launching successful sitcoms.

Although the project is at a nascent stage — there’s no script and no cast — plans call for the comedy to be titled “Cavemen” and focus on a trio of prehistoric characters who battle prejudice in modern-day Atlanta. Walt Disney Co.’s ABC will pay for the pilot and show, if one eventually materializes. Geico, a unit of Berkshire Hathaway Inc., will have no creative control but will receive a royalty payment for the use of the character.

“We sell car insurance; we don’t make TV shows,” says Ted Ward, Geico’s vice president of marketing. “We are excited to have an opportunity to do brand extension.”

While marketers have long depended heavily on so-called product placement where products are written into the story line of a show, some are now going even further by creating entertainment programming that subtly reminds viewers of a brand name.

“It’s about delivering to them something they want to see and not interrupting them,” says Doug Scott, executive director of branded content and entertainment at WPP Group‘s Ogilvy & Mather North America. In many ways, the trend harkens back to early TV, when shows like “Colgate Comedy Hour” were produced or sponsored by advertisers.

One of the most aggressive has been Burger King Holdings Inc. The chain has focused over the last year on lifting the profile of its “King” mascot, a mute character best known for his creepy smile. The burger baron recently starred in a series of videogames, and the company says it has lined up a studio and distributor for a feature film. Russ Klein, Burger King’s president of global marketing strategy, won’t reveal the studio’s identity or the likely plot. But he says the movie could appear as early as the end of this year, with the film aimed at “creating a back story for the King.”

Geico introduced the cavemen characters three years ago, initially in an ad promoting Geico’s Web site that used the slogan “It’s so easy to use Geico.com, even a caveman could do it.” The ad became popular and a series of sequels followed, mostly centered on the idea of cavemen being offended by the insensitive slogan of the first commercial.

The characters have achieved celebrity status, thanks, in part, to Geico’s enormous ad budget. The insurer spent an estimated $403 million on ad time and space in 2005, according to TNS Media Intelligence, an amount expected to be up 20% last year although final data aren’t available. Geico receives hundreds of letters and emails about the characters, and fans at college sporting events have been known to hold up signs that say “Beating [team name] is so easy, even a caveman can do it.”

More recently, the caveman has been showing up outside ads. Eight days ago an actor dressed as a caveman showed up at the Academy Awards and attended an after-Oscars bash. Last month, the caveman played a round of golf with football analyst Phil Simms during his Super Bowl pregame show on CBS Corp.’s CBS. The five segments totaled about three minutes. The deal was part of an ad package that Horizon Media, Geico’s media buying firm, cooked up with CBS that also included running cavemen ads during the network’s hours-long run-up to the National Football League championship.

These appearances were part of a strategy by Geico and the ad agency that crafted the cavemen spots, Interpublic Group‘s Martin Agency, to move the character beyond commercials. Like many other marketers, the insurer recognizes that the deluge of ads on television — and digital video recorders that allow viewers to skip commercials — means traditional ads aren’t as effective as in the past.

“As a marketer you have to look for new and unusual ways to get your brand out there because of large amount of messaging clutter and media fragmentation,” says Geico’s Mr. Ward.

The initiative for the cavemen pilot came from Joe Lawson, the writer behind the cavemen commercials and a Martin Agency employee, who decided in late fall to pursue a TV show. With Geico’s approval, the ad firm hired entertainment services agency Management 360 to shop the idea to networks.

Although reaction was mixed — NBC, for instance, says it passed — the concept allowed ABC a chance to address a set of persistent challenges. While achieving enormous success with the dramas “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Desperate Housewives,” the network has for years failed to launch a successful sitcom. In “Cavemen,” executives saw a funny idea with a built-in marketing hook.

A spokeswoman for the ABC Television Studio, which will produce the pilot, said no executive would speak about the project because “it’s way too premature to comment.” She cautioned that there is no guarantee “Cavemen” will result in a prime-time show. ABC has ordered 15 other comedy pilots for the 2007-2008 television season and will likely give the green light to fewer than five for full-fledged series production.

Much remains uncertain. It isn’t clear whether ABC would use the three little-known actors who have starred in the ads. The three are identified by a person close to the agency as Jeff Daniel Phillips, Ben Weber and John Lehr. It’s also not clear whether Geico would continue to use the cavemen ads if the series was to get off the ground, although ABC would see that as a positive, according to a person familiar with the network’s thinking, as the ads would help promote the show.

The road to Hollywood isn’t without potholes for advertisers. CBS in 2002 tried building a sitcom around a talking baby popularized in a commercial for an Internet company. “Baby Bob” lasted only five months. Still, some ad characters have had some success. The California Raisins, which appeared in ads for the California Raisin Board, were a pop-culture hit in the 1980s. The clay-animated figures, best known for an ad where they sing and dance to “I Heard It Through the Grapevine,” starred in a TV special and had a short-lived cartoon series on CBS.

If the cavemen series does make it to air, it will leave in the dust Geico’s famed Green Gecko, which is in many ways more popular than the cavemen but has no spinoff in the works. Says Geico’s Mr. Ward: “Evidently the Gecko doesn’t have the right agent.”

Yoda Back Pack

Keep Your Things Safe It Will Ever since its release in 1980, The Empire Strikes Back has fueled the dreams of geeks across the world. Considered by many to be the best of the Star Wars saga, it was the first film where we really learned what it took to be a Jedi. Sure Obi Wan taught us a little in A New Hope, but it wasn’t until we met Yoda that we truly realized how powerful the Force was and how hard it was to master. Yoda was the pinnacle of what a Jedi should be: mighty and humble, wise and peaceful. Even though he was tiny, we got glimpses of his immense power (really, I mean a whole X-Wing?!?) Once we saw Yoda, we all knew we wanted a Jedi master of our own – a Jedi master who would take us running in the woods, ride on our back, and teach us the ways of the Force. We tried strapping a cat to our back, but it wasn’t the same. A few months ago, our geeky hearts almost leapt out of our bodies when we saw this officially licensed backpack. Yoda…on our back…teaching us…and carrying our stuff inside him. Perfect! And, to make it even better, the straps are adjustable and sized for adults. All you need now is a dirty, sleeveless t-shirt and some khaki’s and you will be ready for your Jedi training to begin. You will be. You will be.

Get it HERE.

Crazy Britney

Alright, if you thought Britney Spears was crazy before, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. According Britain’s News of the World, Britney wrote the number 666 on her shaved head while yelling “I am the Antichrist!” Then she tried to kill herself again, by hanging herself with a bed sheet.

In a week of rehab madness the bonkers beauty wrote the number of the beast, 666, on her shaved head before running round the clinic screaming “I am the Antichrist!” at frightened staff.

“Later that night she tried to kill herself,” a friend told us. “She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt.”

Her pal told us: “She is still very vulnerable. Last Saturday she said she had the number 666 written onto her bald head. She was crying, and shouting, ‘I am the Antichrist!’

“The clinic people just didn’t know what to do. Then she started screaming, ‘I’m a fake! I’m a fake!‘ It must have been really frightening. When she tried to hang herself it was more a cry for help.”

Cry for help? That’s a cry for a straight jacket and heavy, heavy medication. If that’s not bat-shit crazy, I don’t know what is. Even scarier, though, is the report’s claim that the only thing that has settled Britney down is Kevin Federline.

A source close to the clinic said: “Britney has realised what a rock Kevin has been to her, and how out of control she has acted recently. She has been talking to Kevin every night for hours on the phone, telling him she still loves him.

She just wants to be with him again, and thinks having another baby will seal their marriage. Britney seems much happier and has calmed down a lot. She’s a completely different Britney from the beginning of the week.”

I’m pretty sure that if you look up “lost cause” in the dictionary, there will be a picture of Britney Spears shaving her head. When the most positive influence in your life is Kevin Federline, I think that’s officially called rock bottom. If ever there was a reason to mandate state-sponsored sterilization, I think we’ve got it right here.

For those of you keeping count, this is suicide attempt number 3. Here are Britney Spears first two suicide attempts.

Man who claims he’s a werewolf faces charges

A Fond du Lac man who claimed he was a werewolf and spoke what sounded like a medieval language has been charged with criminal trespassing, criminal damage to property, disorderly conduct and possession of marijuana.

A $5,000 cash bail was ordered for Robert Marsh, 39 — who lists his address as the Fond du Lac County Jail — during an appearance Friday in Fond du Lac County Circuit Court.

A woman who lives on West Division Street contacted Fond du Lac police about 3 a.m. March 1 and reported that Marsh broke through the deadbolt on her door and grabbed her arm but was stopped by two men in the apartment, according to a criminal complaint.

Marsh was released from prison a few days prior to the incident and the woman had allowed Marsh to stay at her place because he was homeless, according to the report.

During the time Marsh stayed at the home he had not slept, was drinking and often incoherent, stating he was a werewolf, had powers and was involved in a witch religion, the woman told police.

When Marsh was located he had a small amount of marijuana on him and warned authorities that he could change forms.

If convicted of all charges the defendant faces up to almost eight years in prison and over $21,000 in fines.

Former Sen. Eagleton dead at 77

Former U.S. Sen. Thomas Eagleton, briefly a running mate of Democratic presidential candidate George McGovern until revelations of his treatment for depression forced him out of the race, died on Sunday at age 77, his family said.

The cause of death was a combination of heart, respiratory and other problems. The former Missouri senator had been in declining health for many years, the family said in a statement.

Eagleton, a leading opponent of the Vietnam War, withdrew from the Democratic presidential ticket days after being chosen in July 1972 when it was revealed that he had been hospitalized for depression and underwent electric shock treatments.

McGovern, a U.S. senator from South Dakota, went on to lose the general election to Richard Nixon in one of the worst presidential election defeats in history, losing 49 of the 50 states including his home state.

While Nixon was seen as virtually unbeatable, McGovern’s wavering on whether to keep Eagleton — a junior senator chosen after several more prominent politicians turned McGovern down — was a major stumble that contributed to the debacle.

McGovern at first said he backed Eagleton “1,000 percent” and had no intention of dropping him from the ticket. But facing an uproar, McGovern then worked behind the scenes to let word go out that Eagleton should withdraw.

McGovern then replaced him with Sargent Shriver, an in-law of the Democratic powerhouse Kennedy family.

Sen. Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts in a statement called Eagleton a “Missouri senator in the great tradition of Harry Truman,” and said Eagleton “made a difference on every issue he touched in the Senate, especially Vietnam.”

Eagleton was elected to the U.S. Senate in 1968, was re-elected twice and served until 1987.

In 1973, Eagleton offered an amendment to a defense spending bill to cut off funding for bombing Cambodia, a move that played a key part in ending U.S. involvement in the Vietnam War.

He also was instrumental in major environmental legislation including the Clean Air Act and the Clean Water Act.

After his retirement from the Senate, Eagleton practiced law, and from 1987 until 1999 he was a professor of public affairs at Washington University in his home city of St. Louis.