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Birthday Boy hits the Big "FIVE ZERO"

Followers of Osama bin Laden flooded Islamic Web sites with pledges of allegiance, videos and pictures Saturday to mark the al-Qaida leader’s 50th birthday, reflecting his importance as a militant symbol even though he has not shown his face for years.

One user, going by the name Abu Yacoub, posted an old picture of bin Laden wearing a helmet and khaki military uniform while carrying a two-way radio in a deserted area, possibly from his fight in Afghanistan against the Soviet Union two decades ago.

“Osama bin Laden turns 50. God protect our leader, our Sheik Osama bin Laden. God reward him for his words and actions,” Abu Yacoub wrote on a Web site commonly used by insurgents.

Another message titled the “Manhattan invasion” featured old footage of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks in the United States and the wills of the men who hijacked the planes. Another follower posted a poem of dedication to bin Laden.

A spokesman for U.S. troops in Afghanistan expressed disgust over the celebrations.

“Instead of focusing on the anniversary of his birth, people around the world – and particularly the people here in Afghanistan – should take a moment to remember the innocent people who have been killed or injured by terrorist extremists like Osama bin Laden,” said Maj. William Mitchell.

Like most things involving bin Laden, his exact birth date is unknown.

GlobalSecurity.org, a Virginia-based think tank, said bin Laden was either born March 10 or July 30 of 1957 in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. The FBI just lists that he was born in 1957.

Bin Laden is believed to be hiding in Afghanistan or the country’s lawless border region with Pakistan. U.S.-led coalition troops have conducted hundreds of unsuccessful operations in the region to find him. Intelligence officials have suggested that the trail for bin Laden has gone cold, and there has been speculation over whether he is dead or alive.

The last time bin Laden appeared in a video was Oct. 29, 2004, in a warning to the U.S. that it would face another attack if it did not stop meddling in Arab and Muslim affairs. The al-Qaida leader appeared pale and thinner in the video.

A number of bin Laden audio tapes have been posted on Islamic Web sites since then, the latest in July, but his voice has sounded tired, fueling rumors that he was seriously ill.

Bin Laden’s deputy, Ayman al-Zawahri, meanwhile, has become more public, appearing in four messages since the beginning of the year and more than a dozen in 2006.

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Witch rumors prompt teacher lawsuit

Her fingernails, makeup and clothing apparently made her look like a witch in the eyes of the principal at the Hampton Bays school where she taught reading, Lauren Berrios said Tuesday as she prepared for her lawsuit against the district to go to trial.

Berrios, 37, who vehemently denies ever practicing witchcraft, said there was no reason her appearance at the school could have been mistaken for anything other than a prim and well-kept professional.

Jurors in federal court are scheduled to start hearing Wednesday about how Berrios endured harassment from former Hampton Bays Elementary School principal Andrew Albano, who she claims falsely accused her of being a witch.

She sat in her lawyer John Ray’s Miller Place office yesterday, sporting a sparkly silver sweater, French manicured nails and blonde hair neatly upswept as she recounted how rumors of witchcraft had led to her being denied tenure and eventually fired from the district.

Hired in 1999, Berrios was a reading specialist at the school. During her second year there, she said, she began to hear from parents that rumors were spreading that she was a witch.

Then, she said, Albano began removing books from her classroom, such as Shakespeare’s plays and the Goosebumps series, which Berrios claims he disliked because they involve goblins, soothsayers and ghosts. Berrios said the paranormal went against Albano’s born-again Christian beliefs.

There were other genres in Berrios’ library, she said. “I’m a reading specialist, I use literature.”

Albano, who is expected to testify in the trial, could not be reached Tuesday. A district spokesman declined to comment on pending litigation but district officials have said previously that Berrios was let go because she was a poor teacher.

Berrios said she has no written proof that Albano deemed her a witch, but will rely on her memory of conversations with him and others. A letter dated Feb. 9, 2001, from Albano to Berrios states that he was concerned about her “bizarre behaviors.”

Sixth annual Frozen Dead Guy Days endures snow

Nederland’s sixth annual Frozen Dead Guy Days concludes today. The town festival is inspired by the discovery of Bredo “Grandpa” Morstoel’s cryogenically frozen corpse in a shed next to his family’s mountain home in 1994. He now rests in his original steel coffin, which is packed in dry ice in an insulated wooden box and stored in a Tuff Shed above Nederland.

Here is a schedule of today’s events:

11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Big Top Tent opens in the Town Square parking lot.

10 a.m. to noon “One Too Many Frozen Dead Guys,” a murder mystery book that takes place during the festival, is on sale at Frozen Dead Guy Days Theater in the Best Western Lodge at 55 Lakeview Drive. Meet the author, Pam Stockho.

10 a.m., noon, 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. International award-winning documentary “Grandpa’s Still in the Tuff Shed” by the Beck Sisters of Boulder. It’s about the discovery of Bredo Morstoel’s cryonics existence in Nederland and will be shown in the Best Western Lodge at 55 Lakeview Drive.

11 a.m., 1 p.m., 3 p.m. “Real Cryonics,” a film from the cryonics community shown in the Frozen Dead Guy Days Theater in the Best Western Lodge at 55 Lakeview Drive.

11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Sundance Salmon Toss and Sunday Brunch at the Sundance Cafe and Lodge, 23942 Highway 119.

Noon-? Frozen turkey bowling at Stage Stop Inn in Rollinsville at 60 Main Street. Live music afterward.

1 p.m. Rocky Mountain Oyster Eating Contest at First Street Pub and Grill, 35 E. First Street; $10 contestant fee, with $100 cash prize for the fastest and greatest oyster eater.

3 p.m. Brain freeze contest on the patio of Whistler’s Cafe, next to Big Top Tent.

5 p.m. Special closing ceremony at the town roundabout. Take your final walk around the snow sculpture and enjoy a frozen treat.

and here is even more information:

Chances are it’s nothing the community would rally behind. Few towns recognize the need to celebrate a rusty wheelbarrow or leaf blower.

But lucky for Nederland, one of its landowners uses his backyard shack to store the state’s favorite Grandpopsicle. Bredo Morstoel, who’s been packed in dry ice since 1993, has put the town on the international map. The New York Times, The Guardian of London, BBC and the Herald Sun in Melbourne, Australia, are just a few of the media outlets that have marveled at the town’s not-quite-living citizen and the festival that fetes his frozenness.

Yet despite its international acclaim, the annual Frozen Dead Guy Days and its chilling competitions have been dominated by the locals. Before this year’s festival this weekend, we asked them for some insight and tips:

Frozen T-shirt Contest

4:30 p.m. Saturday in the Nederland Town Square parking lot

Organizers soak 30 T-shirts in water, fold them up, seal them in plastic bags and freeze them for a week. Then it’s a race to see which contestant can rip one open and unfold it quickest. “Last year I felt terrible,” said Bunny Spangler, owner of the Pioneer Inn, which had hosted the contest. “It was pretty darn cold. Some of the people got bloody knuckles.” Spangler offers this tip on winning :

• Go to the dark side: “Dark T-shirts strangely enough are easier to open. I don’t know why. I tried to make them all even, but they’ve always had better luck opening the darker ones.”

Other cold contests

Just about every establishment in Nederland is offering a chance to chill out Sunday

• Sundance Salmon Toss, 11 a.m. Sunday at the Sundance Cafe

• Frozen Turkey Bowling Contest, noon Sunday at the Stage Stop Inn at Rollinsville

• Rocky Mountain Oyster Eating Contest, 1 p.m. Sunday at the First Street Pub and Grill.

• Brain Freeze Contest, in which contestants chug ice slurpies for prizes; 4 p.m. Sunday on the patio at Whistler’s Cafe.

Grandpa Look-alike Contest

8 p.m. today at Grandpa’s Blue Ball at the Black Forest Restaurant

This simply entails dressing and acting the part of Bredo Morstoel, he who is frozen in a Tuff Shed. The winner gets a prime spot in the parade, bragging rights and $100. Ray Rovey won a couple of years ago, but didn’t defend his crown last year (“I thought I’d let someone else win it”). Another year he was trumped by a Belgian actor who came with a makeup crew. Rovey can’t tell you what other participants look like (he’s blind) but he can share his tips:

• Don’t skimp on makeup: “I’ve got a friend who paints me up. She uses a lot of white hairspray, gets it all poofed up. Then she draws lines on my face. She says I’m the spitting image of him.”

• Dress the part: “He was quite the skier, so I get some knickers, a big turtleneck sweater, make myself look Norwegian.”

The coffin race

2 p.m. Saturday at Chipeta Park

The centerpiece of the weekend’s celebration involves a team carrying a homemade coffin containing a (live) teammate all over Nederland’s Chipeta Park. Competitors go over and under playground equipment, climb banks of snow and – for those with true spirit – wear themed costumes. As the rules state: “Dropping the coffin is very bad form and may disqualify your team from the race.” A team sponsored by Nederland’s Over the Rainbow Preschool won last year and has placed in previous races. The school’s executive director, L.J. Werner, shared these keys to success:

• Hang on to your coffin: “The first year we lost our coffin in all the excitement and celebrating. Or maybe I should say someone borrowed it for an extended period of time. ”

• Don’t practice: “I know teams that have, but we’ve never practiced. It’s all about going for the moment. ”

The Ice Queen Contest

10 p.m. today at Grandpa’s Blue Ball at the Black Forest Restaurant

It’s anyone’s guess what the Ice Queen’s supposed to look like. Hillary Stevenson won two years ago after dressing like an abominable snow-woman. She won last year after dressing completely in blue. She offer these tips:

• Think on your feet: Your answers to the judges’ questions are key. “You’ve got to be quick and show some personality. A lot of people just stand there and go . . . ‘uuuuuh.’ ”

• Bring dog treats: Ray Rovey will help judge. Because he’s blind – and says he’s been told he can’t “judge with his hands” – he’s letting his guide dog help pick a winner.

Frozen in time

Chronicling Grandpa’s rise from anonymity in Norway to celebrity status in Colorado

• 1900 – Bredo Morstoel is born in Norway.

• 1989 – He has a heart attack after a day of skiing in Norway.

• 1990 – His grandson has him cryogenically frozen in California. Whether Morstoel wanted to be frozen is another matter. His grandson has said Morstoel died unexpectedly, “before I had taken time to ask him if he wanted to be suspended.”

• 1993 – His grandson brings Morstoel’s body to Nederland, where he has built a makeshift mausoleum out of plywood encasing a steel coffin, insulated by cardboard boxes packed with dry ice.

• 1994 – Morstoel’s grandson is deported by the INS, leaving his mother to take care of the frozen grandpa.

• May 1994 – Nederland officials learn for the first time about the DIY cryogenic lab, freak out and pass a law banning the storage of frozen flesh. Morstoel is “grandfathered” in.

• 1995 – Winds nearly destroy the old tin shed protecting Morstoel’s body. Tuff Shed and 103.5 The Fox donate a new one, emblazoned with the radio station’s logo.

• 1996 to present – Morstoel’s grandson continues to pay $6,000 to $7,400 a year to keep Grandpa frozen.

• 1998 – Boulder sisters Robin and Kathy Beeck film Grandpa’s in the Tuff Shed, a 28-minute ode to Nederland’s most famous inhabitant.

• 2002 – Teresa Warren, who runs the Off Her Rocker antiques shop, suggests a festival honoring Morstoel.

Colorado’s other coffin race

Winning Nederland’s race isn’t enough to capture the crown as Colorado’s best coffin-racing team.

If you want to hoist the Coffin Cup, you have two courses to conquer. In addition to Nederland’s race each March, Manitou Springs every year hosts the Emma Crawford Coffin Race to celebrate a turn-of-the-century resident whose remains washed down the mountainside after stormy weather eroded the granite in which she was buried.

The winner from Manitou Springs travels to Nederland to take on the fastest team this weekend (3 p.m. Saturday). Likewise, Nederland’s fastest heads south each October to take on Manitou’s finest on their course.

The one wrinkle: Manitou’s race is on wheels, much like a soap-box derby, while in Nedererland they carry the coffins. So each team must retrofit its coffins for one race each year.

Frozen Dead Guy Days

• When and where: today through Sunday in Nederland

• Admission: Most events are free to watch but have fees to enter.

• Information: nederlandchamber.org/FrozenDeadGuyDays/ or 720-374-6742

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Who gay men find HOT, a Top 10

See them all here.

Nanny’s book may smudge Madonna

A material witness is spilling the beans on life with the Material Mom – who was spotted house hunting yesterday on the East Side.

Melissa Dumas, a woman claiming to be a former nanny, has made a deal for a tell-all book on the ultra-private superstar – and it’s expected to be an explosive read.

Dumas delves into the superstar’s sometimes rocky marriage to Guy Ritchie, her controversial adoption of Malawian son David Banda, and her family’s commitment to the teachings of kabbalah, reports Entertainment Weekly, which saw a copy of the proposal.

She’s also planning to dish about Madge’s alleged shabby treatment of her support staff.

World rights for the book have been picked up by the Crown Publishing Group, an arm of Random House, the Daily News has learned. Financial terms have not been released, but serialization of the book to magazines and newspapers around the world alone is expected to be worth a fortune.

Reports this year claimed Madonna was having a hard time filling a nanny post – largely because of her strict rules. A former butler who served at her palatial home in London told the News of the World of furious tantrums and claimed that Madge ruled her home with an iron fist.

If Madge was worried about the gossipy help, she sure didn’t look it yesterday as she toured some of the hottest homes in New York. A $35 million Beaux-Arts limestone mansion on E. 62nd St. seemed to really catch her fancy. Built in 1902 by John Duncan, the same architect who designed Grant’s Tomb, it offers ample room if she wants to adopt a village of kids: 14,700 square feet on six levels and a living room with 17-foot-high ceilings.

The mansion is just doors down from the former home of the late Dr. Nicholas Bartha, the deranged physician who blew his townhouse to smithereens over the summer.

Lycos Top Searches of the Week….

Antonella Barba is the number one most searched celebrity this week (if she really can be called a celebrity) followed by Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Not only is Paris apparently incapable of driving, but she is not much more adept at steering a shopping cart. She allegedly rammed her cart into an old lady’s when she was blocking an aisle at a grocery store. This girl should not be let near anything with wheels. Also, Paris recently celebrated her 26th birthday. At her birthday party, guests were reportedly asked to sign a gigantic portrait of Paris with effusive messages. Now I know the theme of my next party – sucking up/insincere flattery.

Other popular celebrities this week include both Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. Are the two ladies still entrenched in a power struggle over Brad? According to the ever-trustworthy Star Magazine, Angelina was annoyed to find out that Brad had sent Jennifer a birthday card. Meanwhile, Jennifer still seems to be single, although there are some rumors floating around that she may be getting back together with Vince. She has reportedly eliminated cigarettes and caffeine from her diet and is using yoga to help fight cravings.

It is difficult to say why we have seen such a surge of search activity for Cher lately other than the fact that the singer has been an icon for years. Another singer with an ardent fanbase, Clay Aiken, is the only man to make our top ten celebrities list this week.

The most popular celebrities for the week ending March 3, 2007:

1. Antonella Barba
2. Paris Hilton
3. Britney Spears
4. Anna Nicole Smith
5. Cher
6. Pamela Anderson
7. Clay Aiken
8. Angelina Jolie
9. Carmen Electra
10. Jennifer Aniston

Michael Jackson Will Lose Beatles Catalog in ’08

Jacko Will Lose Beatles Catalog in 2008

Michael Jackson had better hold on to whatever money he pocketed in Japan this week during a promotional tour.

I can report today that Jackson will lose his hold on the Beatles catalog and Sony/ATV Music Publishing on May 31, 2008. That date, revealed here for the first time, is known as the “Liquidation Sale” among insiders.

And Jackson knows this. He even hired a famous law firm, White & Case, to evaluate the deal he made with Sony and Fortress Investments when he refinanced his shaky empire last year.

This doesn’t mean that Jackson won’t still owe Fortress $300 million after the liquidation sale is over. He will, but he can pay them back from the money Sony pays him to buy out their half of the music company.

Its value is somewhere between $1.1 and $1.6 billion, according to a Fortress exec who was deposed last year in preparation for a $48 million lawsuit brought against Jackson by Darien Dash, who helms Prescient Capital Group and is a cousin of hip-hop entrepreneur Damon Dash.

Recently, both Jackson and Prescient have asked the judge in New York to speed things along, and an answer is pending.

At question is whether or not Don Stabler, an accountant hired by Randy Jackson, Michael’s brother, had the authority to enter into agreements on Jackson’s behalf.

Stabler agreed to pay Prescient/Dash a nine percent fee for finding financing to replace Jackson’s $270 million at Bank of America.

Dash found Fortress, which offered over $500 million to help Jackson buy out Sony in his agreement. That much wasn’t needed, but Dash is asking for his fee on that amount.

The original Jackson-Prescient-Fortress deal went down in May 2005 while Jackson stood trial in Santa Maria, Calif., for child molestation. But, unbeknownst to anyone, the negotiations had actually begun in November 2004.

A year later, in the spring of 2006, Jackson — now bidden to Fortress — was out of money again and renegotiating his terms. Sony Music came to his rescue, but at a price: they would be able to trigger a purchase of Jackson’s entire stake, not just half of it, at the end of May 2008.

And Jackson agreed to more than just that: he also signed a promissory note with Fortress for $20 million. It comes due this October.

Selling his half of Sony-ATV back to Sony won’t be so easy for Jackson or so lucrative.

According to testimony in various Prescient depositions, Jackson could be charged as much as $250 million “off the top” by Sony for expenses they’ve incurred while running the partnership.

That would whittle down his potential $600 million windfall almost by half. A further subtraction of the $300 million loan to Fortress would leave him with little wiggle room.

Jackson, it’s also revealed in the depositions, once tried to sell his half of the company to billionaire Ron Burkle during the child molestation trial.

“I remember precisely at court in the bathroom stall with the cell phone in my hand, saying why don’t you just buy it? I want to sell it you,” Jackson said.

Burkle, Jackson said, declined, telling him he had to keep the music catalog for his children.

Jackson’s deposition in the Prescient case, which is now becoming public, is otherwise the usual symphony of “I don’t knows” and “I don’t remembers” that Jackson offers in these circumstances. It was conducted last June 12 at Jackson’s expense — possibly $100,000 — at a hotel in Versailles, France, at his request.

But Jackson is far from stupid. His answers and vagueness seem coached, but from the Marx Brothers and Abbott & Costello. At one point he starts calling the proceedings “ridiculous,” an adjective he invokes often. Asked what’s ridiculous about the case, Jackson answers: “Three Stooges.”

There is also a long debate about where he lives. He doesn’t know the address, can’t tell the difference between Bahrain, Dubai and Oman or the various palaces he’s been in. “The Muslim names are kind of confusing to me, so it’s hard,” he says.

Jackson is also fairly embittered by his experiences in the music business.

“It’s full of sharks,” he says to one of the lawyers, “charlatans and imposters. Because there’s a lot of money involved, there’s a bunch of schmucks in there.” Of course, it’s the wrong word: schmuck means, loosely, losers.

At another time, it’s implied that flashy Florida attorney Willie Gary made an offer to buy Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. Now shuttered, Neverland is leveraged by Jackson with a $25 million loan, also with Fortress.

There’s an upside to all this: Jackson, under the renegotiation, receives an annual advance from Sony of $6.5 million. He gets another $2 million under another clause. It’s not a lot for a celebrity who likes to travel, stay in expensive hotels and shut down toy stores for private shopping. But it’s nothing to sneeze at, either.

What’s interesting about all this now is that it’s no longer about Jackson. His career is finished. It’s now more about what a hot potato the Beatles catalog has become, and why its ever-increasing value has permitted Jackson to live outside the norm. It may be the wisest investment ever made by a celebrity.

Jackson should be sending thank you letters to John Branca and Frank DiLeo, his two former advisers, every day of the week.